Law of Requisite Variety says the system/person with the most flexibility of behavior will control the system. The more rigidly we define ourselves and our beliefs, the less flexibility and freedom we have. Here’s a great article on this.
In the field of neuroscience, personality isn’t a concept. We have habits of mind that we often define ourselves by: our skills, values, and beliefs. I’m competitive. I’m analytical. I’m a businessperson. And so on. Have you ever considered how your self image may be limiting you and how you could stop limiting yourself?
My client was recognized and rewarded for quickly achieving goals for her organization and highly valued her ability to get things done. She let her team take the reins on leading monthly updates, and they created an approach that was better than she had. She was proud of their work, yet didn’t value her leadership in that effort because she didn’t “do anything”. This client limited herself because she was so uncomfortable with how she and others would view her if she didn’t create value as an individual.
As we become more comfortable in uncomfortable situations, we gain resiliency, choice, and emotional freedom. We become more comfortable in our own skin.We can sometimes create this change on our own. Consider
What situations are uncomfortable for you?
What assumptions are you making that create discomfort? (I’ll fail, be rejected, have no purpose, not be valued, etc.)
How can you test whether and when those assumptions are true?
What was very uncomfortable for you in the past but isn’t any longer? What helped relieve the discomfort?
When discomfort is deeply rooted, tied to multiple memories and ways we understand the world, it can be very helpful to work with a professional. I’m in the process of getting certified in Advanced Applied Neuroscience to help increase clients’ comfort with discomfort. I’m trained in additional modalities that help with this too. I offer free consultations and referrals to others when appropriate.
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